Would you be my friend?

I get home from work and Misty needs to leave to finish her visiting teaching.  I am left “in charge,” but it really isn’t that big of a deal because only Bryce is awake.  Brandon and Brinley are still taking a nap.  I have another good thirty minutes until they are supposed to get up and have dinner.  That is good because I need some time tofinish filling out my NCAA brackets.  Never fails…. I sit down with the laptop… log into my brackets… I can hear Brinley talking to Brandon, “jump jump.” Then Brandon and Brinley say in unison, “One… Two…. Three…  Jump,  Jump,  Jump.”  Of course, they turned  their cribs into trampolines.

  

I know I only have a matter of minutes to finish my brackets  and enjoy my “personal time.”  Suddenly there is a knock at the door.  My first thought is… a salesman.  Nobody ever comes to my house in the pouring rain unless it is their job or they are crazy.  Before I can turn off the lights and hide under the couch, Bryce has answered the door.  I know I am in trouble when I hear a female voice ask Bryce, “Is your Mother  home?”  Bryce totally gave the wrong answer when he said, “No, but my Dad is here!”  Mental note – talk to Bryce about opening the door to strangers and especially telling them that I am home.

I slowly make my way to the front door and find a strange lady who starts talking to me as if we are long time friends.  I have no idea what she is doing at my house and why she wants to talk to me.  Honestly, I think I am having an out of body experience.  She starts telling me… I used to live close by… this house used to be in my Ward… we attended church at the stake Center… do you still attend at the Stake Center?… Oh wow… I see you have a basketball standard in the driveway… one is big and one is small… do you want to sell the small one…Did Misty list that on ksl.com?  Is there a For Sale sign outside?... where did you get it… I used to go to D.I. all of the time when I was younger… (peaking through the window in our front door) You have a lovely window hanging on your wall (as she is half way in the door)… do you mind if I come in?...  Do I have a choice?... your wife needs to do something else with that window… it needs something else …the window is great, but it is missing something… I think you are the one that is missing something… Oh, you have a new light fixture…that is great… I have the same kind of carpet…Mine has dark speckles in it… do you mind if I look at your front room? …what do I say?  how do I get out of this situation? where is Misty when really I need her? AWKWARD!!!... your furniture is great… where did you buy it… how much did it cost… that piano is really tacky… Come again.  Say it to my face.  you took out the fireplace… did you clean out the fireplace?... your kitchen is great… I like the green… I have stainless steel  appliances in MY kitchen… well, accept the fridge… that is really tacky…I love the fans… your wife did a great job with the fans… how old is your wife… your piano really is tacky in the corner… I really shouldn’t say that, but it is… Come on, don’t hold back...your wife needs to do something with that window… is she good with computers… it needs something else… I should have gone to decorator’s school...so are you looking for a job as an interior decorator?..  I decorated all of my friend’s houses when I was younger…you have friends?… Okay bye.

There goes my “Personal Time!”-  I feel bad for her husband - Misty will never believe this!